Sunday, July 21, 2024

खुद से बातें करते रहना....Internal monologue


   
खुद से बातें करते रहना, बातें करते रहना
ओ, आँखें मीचे दिन में मीठी रातें करते रहना
खुद से बातें   ...

खुद से कहना जाती हूँ मैं
खुद से कहना आई मैं
ऐसा भी होता है न
हल्की सी तन्हाई में
तन्हाई में तसवीरों के चेहरे भरते रहना
खुद से बातें   ...

Some or other time we have watched in a movie or a tele series ...a character has a life-changing decision to make, and a narrator’s voice-over runs through potential outcomes as the person thinks. Sometimes, the character even envisions a debate — figures of their imagination weighing pros and cons. 

Recently when i was detailed for a long course..plwnning...my daughter told that why I am speaking with myself while I was sitting ...I was talking with myself internally


We all also experience something similar in in real life. It might happen as you’re at airport lounge, trying to remember what you are going  for, or what all could happen before a challenging conversation with the person whom you are going to meet. The talk you’re about to have replays repeatedly in your head as you rehearse what you want to say. 

If you’ve heard your head “speak,” you have . खुद से बातें करते रहना.....Internal monologue 

 

If you have internal dialogues, you may find they help you make decisions, memorize information, and work through emotions. But when monologues become negative, they could be damaging to one' s self esteem...

.

What is an internal monologue?

I always find talking to myself whenever there is a conflict ...whether positive/positive or negative/negative...
Further whenever some big event is planned..the thoughts seems to be talking to me

It seems that I am  able  reproduce a voice in  my mind without moving lips or making a sound. I hear the voice, and sometimes  it takes on a particular tone ...


It seems that this   

खुद से बातें करते रहना

inner monologue

 is a way of using verbal reasoning  skills to play with information. These inner speeches help people take apart thoughts and imagine potential situations for critical thinking, problem-solving, or trying to evaluate elements of a situation.



How does an internal monologue work....

This is more than just your thoughts in your head — it’s when you’re able to have some type of discussion with yourself.  Here’s more on each: 

Condensation

It refers to how succinct or verbose an inner voice is. Some people have long monologues that string together complete, coherent sentences, like “Today, I need to pick up the dry cleaning, get groceries, and make a dog grooming appointment. Then, I should hit the gym.” Others hear more disparate words or phrases, like “remember dry cleaning,” or “gym today?”


Dialogality

Dialogality is the ability to hold a silent conversation. This idea pushes against what a monologue is — as “mono” implies a one-sided speech. But some inner voices split into several. 

For example, a person might envision an upcoming interview and their head voices play out an inner dialogue between them and the interviewer. 


Intentionality

Sometimes, people catch themselves holding a conversation or delivering a monologue in their heads. Other times, they intentionally start talking internally. A person might idly “talk” through a creative idea using their head voice while on a walk, or they might actively practice how they’ll answer in interview...


Benefits of internal monologues

1. Planning 

You have a busy day: back-to-back meetings in the morning, an important presentation in the afternoon, and a writing workshop after work. 

As you consider your to-do list, your head voice kicks in, narrating a to-do list and tips like, “Don’t forget to print a copy of the presentation summary for that stakeholder.” Your mind may even reassure you that all will go well, saying, “You’ve got this,” or “Finishing all your work is possible.” These narrations help you get organised spot potential flaws in your plan, and believe you’ll get everything done.


2. Emotional regulation 

Your head voice can help you emotionally regulate and prevent unwanted reactions by naming and accepting your feelings. For example, your inner monologue may say, “That meeting stressed me out. I felt disrespected,” and then, “Why not get fresh air ?”


3. Problem-solving

Suppose a development projectfor your organisation is running off course because of an error in design ...As the project manager, you must reassess andshift the schedule, and change team assignments. 

Your inner monologue can walk you through these modifications. As you view the calendar, your head might say, “No, I can’t put that task before this one because they’re interdependent,” or, “I can give this task to some other. She’ll excel at it.” You may even find that the monologue splits into a dialogue. As you propose solutions in one voice, another on chimes in to present potential issues and counter with new options.


4. Motivation

In your Gym, your internal monologue reminds you that you’ve completed other sessions like this before, and the endorphin rush you feel afterward is always worth it. Before navigating a tricky client conversation, your head voice reassures you that explaining the situation is the best course of action. 


5. Positive reinforcement

Your head voice motivates youby saying, “You can do this,” and it delivers positive reinforcement by saying, “You did it.” 

 As you recognize your successes, the practice becomes a habit and fulfills a reward cycle. You know that performing well results in a perk, so you push yourself to reach a goal. Hearing that you’re capable, powerful, and intelligent, even from your own mind, can boost your self confidence and encourage you to keep up the good work.


ज़िन्दगी एक हसीन ख्वाब है

जिसमें जीने की चाहत होनी चाहिये

गम खुद ही खुशी में बदल जायेंगे

सिर्फ मुस्कुराने की आदत होनी चाहिये


Thursday, May 23, 2024

Twin 🔥 flame


I met a girl ...in July 2003 in Belgaum...with short hair ..short height ..fluent English...rooted to culture ..values..n ethos...totally diametrically opposite of me... I an extrovert ...who loves to enjoy the life to maximum 


Fast forward to 

24th  May 2024...I can't even imagine a day of my life  without this girl...n for one year I have to be away from her...

I tried to give various names to our relationship...but nothing was coming close to what we are now ...n then I realised we are TWIN FLAME RELATIONSHIP 

Twin flame relationship is thought to be a spiritual or soulful connection in which two people are equally matched in their commitment to themselves, to the relationship and to each other...


We both are able to push and challenge each other towards self-discovery and personal growth....so many ups and downs of our life we were able to steer ❤️ with smiles n talks during walks...


Initially it begin with a spark of such intensity that it felt overwhelming to me at least but it deepened so much that now it  feels like you’ve known each other forever....

Our twin flamed relationship feels like a mirror of myself; it reflects  my  qualities and traits, both good and bad and vice versa..


However, this doesn’t mean that me and her are exactly the same nor either of our  identity depend fully on the other or the relationship....

I when I'm writing this blog realised how much she is the source of my inner fire 🔥 and energy,as she always 

  • Recognizing me  and holding on to her own authentic energy
  • Knows relationship triggers
  • Not waiting until something feels “perfect”

This ultimately has yielded us a satisfying interdependent relationship (rather than independent, codependent or dependant) where bothof us are more powerful together and as individuals as a result of the relationship.....

I'm going to miss....you so much my twin flame 🔥 ❤️ 

10 months ...will fly 🕊️ by ...

Friday, May 17, 2024

DRESS TO IMPRESS OR VICE VERSA

The world of fashion is often baffling to ordinary people like me.... And specially a trend comes along which seems utterly ridiculous, yet catches on. Take the current obsession with ripped jeans.
You can barely be in any city  without being assailed by bare knees, calves and thighs — all protruding through swatches of tattered denim.
why is everyone wearing ripped jeans?

WHERE DID IT ALL START?

The first pair of jeans were designed in the late 1870s by Loeb Strauss, a German businessman who changed his name to Levi and founded the denim brand.

The ‘ripped’ trend came later, emerging in the cultural punk movement of the Seventies.

The rips signified rebellion: early punks tore apart consumer goods as an expression of their anger towards society, and denim became a key part of this political statement.


... SO WHY ARE THEY BACK NOW?
ripped jeans made a comeback — rebranded as ‘distressed’ denim......
This coincided with an Eighties fashion revival, marked by the return of jumpsuits, high-waisted trousers....but is this only about this 
or it has underlying social psychology behind it


ENCLOTHED COGNITION

Does clothes affect cognitive processes...it seems that what we wear is symbolic meaning ...so when one wears it, it’s like playing certain roles.

The old saying “you are what you wear” seems so true nowadays when I interact with people from all walks of lifein almost all aspects of life....

WE BECOME WHAT WE WE WEAR

A suit gives you a feeling of being in control of the situation and thus have better insights and make better work-related decisions. So, wearing a suit isn’t just a matter of fashion but a matter of power.

A similar thing happened when in my house I saw my sister's son wearing  Superman T-shirts...it seems to me he feels that he is actually physically stronger then his friends ....It’s a matter of symbolism Superman T-shirt carries – people identify with its superiority and can’t help themselves but feel great while wearing it.

Tight corsets, and sheer gowns will make a woman feel confident and that’s where the sex appeal comes from, not the other way around. Femininity, confidence and sex appeal are closely intertwined and it all comes from the power pretty dresses brings into your life

MOTIVATION TO WORK OUT

Given the fact that we really are what we wear, it’s no surprise that the so-called gym clothing is such a huge thing in fashion right now.  Infact I feel  gym clothes makes one  motivated  to work out....

DRESSING FOR THE AGE YOU FEEL LIKE

It’s true that the line between “old people’s clothes” and “young people’s clothes” is getting blurrier by the year but there’s still a lot of debate what’s appropriate for a certain age and what’s not..... It’s basically like dressing young to feel young but also so much more than that.


An image you have of yourself can affect both one's personality and health without one even noticing it. That’s where clothes come to the rescue – so, dress for the age you feel like and you’ll surely feel the difference.

DRESS TO IMPRESS
We all try not to judge by the first impression but the power of the first contact can’t be neglected. And because it’s usually the most noticeable thing on a person, clothing can influence all kinds of impressions people will have about you. First of all, the clothes one wears show off one's social status and one's cultural values and it all starts in the early childhood. 
From “pink is for girls, blue is for boys” to choosing the colours you’ll wear depending on the event (for example, black is for funerals, white is not welcomed at the weddings), it’s clear that the clothes we wear not only define us but we also use them to define ourselves.
The only thing that differentiates the  concept of fashion and style is first is embedded in time while second is timeless .. the choice lays with the you..
..
Yes, clothing helps in sending and deliver a message but it’s up to individual to choose what kind of message one wants to send. 

As we all know.... dressing up is a powerful thing and, as it is with every weapon – it should be used carefully so it doesn’t turn against you. So, one should use his/ her wardrobe smartly – to express oneself, boost one's personality...to show the world who we really are. It can really make a difference!


RELATION à DISTANCE





I would rather be here,
 far from you,
 but feeling really close, 
rather than close to you but feeling really far away


This blog is dedicated to friends who live far away without their loved ones .....
I met so many colleagues n friends   working in such tough location like where I am  without their loved ones with them...it made my psychologist brain curious to understand  how they  maintain same passion n fire ... for their loved ones  ...I came to following  conclusion...

When I was doing my Masters in Psychology, my favourite topic was human relationship and theories of it....all used to emphasize law of similarity . proximity ..interactions...etc...

But as time has progressed ..n evolution of technology had enhanced some of these theories need overhauling....no one at that time used to believe in long distance relationship. ..as there was no medium for being intimate...but with arrival of social media ...AI..n Virtual reality...I presume it works ...n it is the next level of being in relationships ...

Long-distance calls are no longer a luxury; the days when they needed to be rationed are long gone.

Long-distance couples do not have to depend on 10 p.m. postal delivery, waiting for news that is at best four days old.


Now we’re no longer even in the days of waiting for our loved ones to check their e-mail when they get home from work. Instant messaging keeps us hooked to each other even when we are out shopping, working, playing, watching a movie and doing much more.

Technology, however, cannot compensate for everything in a long-distance relationship.People still  think long-distance relationships will never work....

Many things are not possible due to the extra distance – no one can promise it will be easy. Things could get complicated, and you might feel lonely and sad at times.

However, the extra distance also makes the simplest things the sweetest. Being able to hold the other person’s hand, eating together at the same table, feeling each other’s touch, taking a walk together, smelling each other’s hair… these small wishes could suddenly mean so much more in a long-distance relationship.

Long-distance relationships may be tough, but they have their own surprises too.

If you want to make your long-distance relationship Work ...we need to 

 Communicate

It is unwise to be overly “sticky” and possessive. One doesn't really have to communicate 12 hours a day to keep the relationship going. Many couples think that they need to compensate for the distance by doing more. This is not true. 

Remember: Less is more. It is not about spamming — you are only going to exhaust yourselves. It’s really about teasing at the right moments and tugging at the right spots.

 

Set some ground rules to manage your expectations.

One need to be clear with what you expect of each other during this long-distance relationship. Set some ground rules so that none of you will do things that will take the other party by surprise.


Try to communicate regularly, and creatively.

Greet each other “good morning” and “good night” every day — this is a must. On top of that, try to update your partner on your life and its happenings, however mundane some of the things may seem.


To up the game, send each other pictures, audio clips, and short videos from time to time. By putting in this kind of effort, you make the other person feel loved and attended to.

Talk sensually with each other

Sensual tension is undoubtedly one of the most important things in relationship. In a way,  desire is like the glue that keeps  from drifting apart. Sensual need is not only biological but also emotional.

Keep the flames burning by sending each other teasing texts filled with sensual innuendos and descriptions.  Puns work pretty well too.


Avoid “dangerous” situations

If you already know that going to the club or going drinking with your group of friends late at night will displease your partner, then you should either 

Not do it or 

Tell your partner beforehand to reassure them.

You should not let this sort of thing slip by because it will only make other extra worried or suspicious – and of course, very upset because they will feel powerless or lack control over the situation.


Do similar things

Recommend books, TV shows, movies, music, news and etc., to each other. When you read, watch and listen to the same things, you get to have more topics in common to talk about.

Even if you live apart, it’s nice to have some shared experiences.

 Make visits to each other

Every long-distance relationship is enriched by visits.

After all the waiting and yearning and abstinence, you finally get to meet each other to fulfil all the little things like kissing, holding hands, etc. 

The atmosphere will be filled with fireworks, glitter bombs, confetti, rainbows, and butterflies.

Enjoy your alone time and your time with your friends and family

You are alone, but you are not lonely unless you choose to feel like it. You don’t have to let your world revolve around your partner — you still have you, your friends, and your family. Take this time apart to do more with your friends and family. Go to the gym more often. Get a new hobby. Binge-watch shows. There are plenty of things for you to do that don’t involve your partner.

Stay honest with each other

Talk about your feelings of fear, insecurity, jealousy, apathy, whatsoever. If you try to hide anything from your partner, that secret will sooner or later swallow you up from the inside out. Don’t try to deal with things all by yourself. Be open and honest with each other. Let other  help you and give you the support you need. It’s better to look at the problem during its initial stage than to only disclose it when it’s all too late. 


Know each other’s schedules

It’s helpful to know when the other person is busy and free. So that you can drop a text or make a call at the right time. You wouldn’t want to disturb your partner when they are in the middle of class or halfway through a business meeting. Make sure you are aware of everyone’s small and big events in their lives...

Keep track of each other’s social media activities

Facebook and Instagram photos of each other. Send each other tweets. Tag each other on Facebook. Post stuff on each other’s wall. Let them know you care. Be cool with stalking each other.

Gift a personal object for the other person to hold on to

Memories have power. No matter what it is–a pendant, a ring, a keychain, a collection of songs and videos, or a perfume bottle. Everyday items and things have meanings to us, whether we realize it or not. We all try to store memories in material things so that when our minds fail, we will still be able to look at or hold onto something that will help us recall our memories. This is why something so simple can mean so much to a person when others may see little or no value in it.



Snail-mail your gift

Mail each other postcards and hand-written  letters. Send each other gifts across  from time to time. Flower deliveries on birthdays, anniversaries, and Valentine’s Day. Shop online and surprise each other with cool T-shirts,  and such.



 Keep each other updated on each other’s friends and family.

This will help you two to know each other’s culture and values. Knowing small habits of each other helps in developing an understanding and building mutual trust.

Talking about family and friends gives you more matters to talk about. The best thing to talk about is gossip and scandals.

VIDEO calls

Because sometimes looking into each other’s eyes and hearing each other’s voices can make everything feel alright again.

A video call is though nothing like being together, but it’s the best thing and the most to do for coziness in a long-distance relationship.


Final Thoughts

Love (or like) is a force that is beyond your control. So the only thing is.....

I am your little friend..
I will always be in love with you,
all the way till the end..
I will always care for you,
I will never leave…
you are one person,
I can never deceive....


IMPHΔL DIΔRIΣS : MΣ, MΨSΣLҒ & I

This blog is dedicated to a  friend who is just my mirror  image .....it's like deja vu ....seeing oneself again ....same style to handle situation....Self worth ...self Image ..attitude...arrogance ..n most importantly love  oneself 

Have I reached to my potential 
Yes...to an extent ....

I want her  ...to reach to her full potential ....as I feel she has to  realize her self yet...or to say do self discovery

Please know it 
Once you know yourself......YOU are left with 

No Fear

 This is a challenge because our family, friends  and society trains us to stay the course and to fear change. But when your overall mission in life is realized  fear takes a back seat.

 Have no fear, and be willing to fail....

As you know

None of us were  born with instruction manuals. From the time we enter the world, our parents or other caretakers mould us to conform to their value system. Since we are dependent on them, and our brains have not fully formed, we do not know any different. The bubble in which  we live in as we grow may be beneficial or damaging, depending on how well our innate personalities thrive within the constraints of these  bubbles....

As you grow up, you may continue as it is or try to find meaning.  Until you find yourself, you will forever be confined to the bubble created for you. This can manifest into an inherent sense of something amiss in your life, though you may not know exactly what’s wrong. That's how most of people live.....

When you are in the wrong place in your life, whether it’s the wrong relationship, profession or dress  size, it wears you down over time with an impact on your overall well-being. 


Being true to yourself is energizing because knowing what  You really  need  drives you to get there...not what others make you feel what you need.....



Your Self

You r exceptionally good ..its just that you have never appreciated your strengths, and embraced your core values. The power of knowledge about your true self instills confidence, which in turn calms your fears because self-assurance won’t let failure define you. When you are confident, you believe in yourself and find inner strength from your values. 



More Benefits

Some people seem to be lucky in life, but maybe it is not luck at all. People who have found their true selves are attuned to opportunities presented to them. If you do not know what brings you joy and fulfillment, you can easily miss the gateway to the next chapter in your life. If you have self-awareness and a clear vision of the life you were meant to have, you will recognize and open the right doors.


Knowing what you need in life to feel complete will also help you in your career tooooo. Your priorities shift so that you can build a career that integrates into your life instead of juggling the events in your life to revolve around a job that leaves you unfulfilled. 

If you don’t love what you do, then you shouldn’t do it.”


List of different tips to find yourself

Sense of Your Past

We all are a product of our past experiences. Your upbringing, relationships, successes, failures and how you managed all those scenarios reveals itself in the person you are today. Once you acknowledge and understand the past, you can come to terms with it and own it. Make a conscious decision to break the pattern of self-destructive behavior, and reinforce behavior that forms the person you want to be...


What You Want In Life

As YOU will  look within and unravel the  baggage in your life, the following may help you to decode it....

  1. What are you passionate about? If you could drop everything right now, where would you want to be?
  2. What are the patterns of behaviors and consequences of your past? What drove those behaviors?
  3. What is the positive feedback you have heard from people over the years? What has filled you with a sense of pride and accomplishment?
  4. What causes do you care about? What sparks your sense of compassion? What injustice enrages you?

Self-Realization

We waste much of ourtime trying to fit in and modeling the behavior, good or bad, of people from whom we want recognition. Part of being an adult is realizing that it is what sets us apart that makes people special....

AS YOU R ALREADY SPECIAL  Finding your true self is about discovering and learning to love what makes you unique....

I believe you  will Touch the Sky with Glory in your journey ...of Life ...As I know you r 

                              THE


The Many Sides of the Self: Reflections at Ashoka, Coffee Breaks, and Lal Legionaries

What a turnaround, just few months back when life was so fast-paced I barely knew where the time went. Now, I'm sitting here...