Friday, May 17, 2024

RELATION à DISTANCE





I would rather be here,
 far from you,
 but feeling really close, 
rather than close to you but feeling really far away


This blog is dedicated to friends who live far away without their loved ones .....
I met so many colleagues n friends   working in such tough location like where I am  without their loved ones with them...it made my psychologist brain curious to understand  how they  maintain same passion n fire ... for their loved ones  ...I came to following  conclusion...

When I was doing my Masters in Psychology, my favourite topic was human relationship and theories of it....all used to emphasize law of similarity . proximity ..interactions...etc...

But as time has progressed ..n evolution of technology had enhanced some of these theories need overhauling....no one at that time used to believe in long distance relationship. ..as there was no medium for being intimate...but with arrival of social media ...AI..n Virtual reality...I presume it works ...n it is the next level of being in relationships ...

Long-distance calls are no longer a luxury; the days when they needed to be rationed are long gone.

Long-distance couples do not have to depend on 10 p.m. postal delivery, waiting for news that is at best four days old.


Now we’re no longer even in the days of waiting for our loved ones to check their e-mail when they get home from work. Instant messaging keeps us hooked to each other even when we are out shopping, working, playing, watching a movie and doing much more.

Technology, however, cannot compensate for everything in a long-distance relationship.People still  think long-distance relationships will never work....

Many things are not possible due to the extra distance – no one can promise it will be easy. Things could get complicated, and you might feel lonely and sad at times.

However, the extra distance also makes the simplest things the sweetest. Being able to hold the other person’s hand, eating together at the same table, feeling each other’s touch, taking a walk together, smelling each other’s hair… these small wishes could suddenly mean so much more in a long-distance relationship.

Long-distance relationships may be tough, but they have their own surprises too.

If you want to make your long-distance relationship Work ...we need to 

 Communicate

It is unwise to be overly “sticky” and possessive. One doesn't really have to communicate 12 hours a day to keep the relationship going. Many couples think that they need to compensate for the distance by doing more. This is not true. 

Remember: Less is more. It is not about spamming — you are only going to exhaust yourselves. It’s really about teasing at the right moments and tugging at the right spots.

 

Set some ground rules to manage your expectations.

One need to be clear with what you expect of each other during this long-distance relationship. Set some ground rules so that none of you will do things that will take the other party by surprise.


Try to communicate regularly, and creatively.

Greet each other “good morning” and “good night” every day — this is a must. On top of that, try to update your partner on your life and its happenings, however mundane some of the things may seem.


To up the game, send each other pictures, audio clips, and short videos from time to time. By putting in this kind of effort, you make the other person feel loved and attended to.

Talk sensually with each other

Sensual tension is undoubtedly one of the most important things in relationship. In a way,  desire is like the glue that keeps  from drifting apart. Sensual need is not only biological but also emotional.

Keep the flames burning by sending each other teasing texts filled with sensual innuendos and descriptions.  Puns work pretty well too.


Avoid “dangerous” situations

If you already know that going to the club or going drinking with your group of friends late at night will displease your partner, then you should either 

Not do it or 

Tell your partner beforehand to reassure them.

You should not let this sort of thing slip by because it will only make other extra worried or suspicious – and of course, very upset because they will feel powerless or lack control over the situation.


Do similar things

Recommend books, TV shows, movies, music, news and etc., to each other. When you read, watch and listen to the same things, you get to have more topics in common to talk about.

Even if you live apart, it’s nice to have some shared experiences.

 Make visits to each other

Every long-distance relationship is enriched by visits.

After all the waiting and yearning and abstinence, you finally get to meet each other to fulfil all the little things like kissing, holding hands, etc. 

The atmosphere will be filled with fireworks, glitter bombs, confetti, rainbows, and butterflies.

Enjoy your alone time and your time with your friends and family

You are alone, but you are not lonely unless you choose to feel like it. You don’t have to let your world revolve around your partner — you still have you, your friends, and your family. Take this time apart to do more with your friends and family. Go to the gym more often. Get a new hobby. Binge-watch shows. There are plenty of things for you to do that don’t involve your partner.

Stay honest with each other

Talk about your feelings of fear, insecurity, jealousy, apathy, whatsoever. If you try to hide anything from your partner, that secret will sooner or later swallow you up from the inside out. Don’t try to deal with things all by yourself. Be open and honest with each other. Let other  help you and give you the support you need. It’s better to look at the problem during its initial stage than to only disclose it when it’s all too late. 


Know each other’s schedules

It’s helpful to know when the other person is busy and free. So that you can drop a text or make a call at the right time. You wouldn’t want to disturb your partner when they are in the middle of class or halfway through a business meeting. Make sure you are aware of everyone’s small and big events in their lives...

Keep track of each other’s social media activities

Facebook and Instagram photos of each other. Send each other tweets. Tag each other on Facebook. Post stuff on each other’s wall. Let them know you care. Be cool with stalking each other.

Gift a personal object for the other person to hold on to

Memories have power. No matter what it is–a pendant, a ring, a keychain, a collection of songs and videos, or a perfume bottle. Everyday items and things have meanings to us, whether we realize it or not. We all try to store memories in material things so that when our minds fail, we will still be able to look at or hold onto something that will help us recall our memories. This is why something so simple can mean so much to a person when others may see little or no value in it.



Snail-mail your gift

Mail each other postcards and hand-written  letters. Send each other gifts across  from time to time. Flower deliveries on birthdays, anniversaries, and Valentine’s Day. Shop online and surprise each other with cool T-shirts,  and such.



 Keep each other updated on each other’s friends and family.

This will help you two to know each other’s culture and values. Knowing small habits of each other helps in developing an understanding and building mutual trust.

Talking about family and friends gives you more matters to talk about. The best thing to talk about is gossip and scandals.

VIDEO calls

Because sometimes looking into each other’s eyes and hearing each other’s voices can make everything feel alright again.

A video call is though nothing like being together, but it’s the best thing and the most to do for coziness in a long-distance relationship.


Final Thoughts

Love (or like) is a force that is beyond your control. So the only thing is.....

I am your little friend..
I will always be in love with you,
all the way till the end..
I will always care for you,
I will never leave…
you are one person,
I can never deceive....


3 comments:

  1. Great Sir! Beautifully explained. I'm sure many will benefit from this

    ReplyDelete
  2. Beautiful explained.am sure .more relationship get strong not only in long distance but living together also benefit from this blog.

    ReplyDelete
  3. No human would ever think twice to be away from you# nothing much to say# just loving every lines 😘💋# with love from Tokyo to Professor # from Demi to Raghu😍🥰

    ReplyDelete

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