The Many Sides of the Self: Reflections at Ashoka, Coffee Breaks, and Lal Legionaries

What a turnaround, just few months back when life was so fast-paced I barely knew where the time went. Now, I'm sitting here watching the clock, waiting for a class to end—life really does have a sense of humor!

 Sitting through lectures with a water bottle by my side, a monitor in front of me, and a head full of questions about myself. With all this time to think—and let’s be real, maybe a little too much time—I’ve found myself wading into some serious psychological depths. Remember that classic OB question, “Who am I?” Well, I’ve graduated from that. Now it’s all about, “What am I?” And trust me, the more lectures and now new semester has also come, the more my answers keep evolving. But honestly the best part of this whole existential quest is....Figuring it out with the Lal Legionaries, sharing laughs and coffee breaks along the way. Makes the whole thing a lot more fun..... 

Every day, as this course rolls on, my understanding of the self keeps shifting—kind of like the seating arrangements at Ashoka for new semester. One day, I think I’ve cracked the mystery, and the next,  Lal Legionaries from both flanks are giving wild ideas about self and suddenly, I’m rethinking everything. And then, during those long, sometimes too long, sessions in Ashoka, I slip into what I like to call “meditatory sleep.” Funny enough, that's when I get the most analytical. Something about zoning out in those chairs makes me a better psychologist. 

Let’s break down what I’ve been thinking between the lectures, the coffee, and the occasional banter with Lal Legionaries.

First off, I am my body. This is the basic biological view. I’m the one sitting here, slouching in my chair at VB Block reaching for more coffee, while my body is supposedly my tool for interacting with the world. But with the aches and stiff neck after Ashoka  marathons, I’m starting to question just how reliable this "tool" is!

Then there’s I am my brain. This one's fun because it’s like saying, “As long as my brain is in control, I’m still me.” No matter what happens to the rest of me. Of course, during group discussions with Lal Legionaries, when my brain decides to throw out a random, totally irrelevant thought, I start doubting if it's really in control at all.

I am my appearance comes next. This one is where things get tricky. How others see me—and how I see myself—doesn’t always match. I mean, after a few hours of lectures, my appearance definitely changes, usually for the worse. But don’t worry, I’ve got my coursemates around to remind me we’re all in the same boat—looking a bit rough after a long day of intellectual heavy-lifting.

Now for the nostalgic side: I am my experiences and memories. It’s the memories of all those shared jokes, group discussions, and presentation plans done with my coursemates that really bind me together. The stuff we’ll laugh about later—those become the building blocks of my self. And sure, I may forget a few details after the coffee wears off, but those memories still count, right?

Next, I am my character and abilities. Apparently, all my traits—whether I’m witty, hardworking, or just barely holding it together—make up who I am. Aristotle said the goal is to develop those traits to their fullest. But honestly, between coffee breaks and chit-chat with Lal Legionaries, I think my skill development is more focused on finding the best way to stay awake during those long lectures.

Then there’s I am my will. This is where things get deep. I’m more than my traits—I’m what I will myself to be. Raghu kutei would say that the worst despair is wanting to be someone else. But let’s face it, after a few intense sessions in Ashoka , I’m definitely daydreaming about a more alert, motivated version of myself.

And then, I am my story. I’ve got my own narrative, and so do my coursemates. Together, we weave these stories into a collective tale full of inside jokes, long debates, and shared experiences. My story is mine, but it’s also shaped by the banter we have over drinks and those late-night discussions about the meaning of it all.

Now for the social side: I am my relationships and role in society. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that 

Lal Legionaries are as much a part of my self as I am. The way we see each other, the roles we play in the group—it all shapes how I see myself. Plus, they keep me grounded when I’m starting to lose myself in abstract thinking.

And finally, the kicker: the self is an illusion. This one’s fun because, let’s be real, after spending so much time in lectures and coffee-fueled discussions, my self feels a bit like a kaleidoscope—constantly shifting and changing. One moment, I’m a deep thinker; the next, I’m cracking jokes with them. Maybe the self is just a collection of moments, and that’s okay.

So, as this course progresses, my understanding of myself keeps evolving. One day I’m my brain, the next I’m my body, and sometimes I’m just a guy trying to keep up with all the deep philosophical discussions at Ashoka. But with Lal Legion by my side, coffee in hand, and the occasional nap to recharge, I’m confident that I’ll figure it all out—or at least enjoy the process.... before this course gets over....