COPINES & COPAINS OF MINE....MERCI To YOU FOREVER

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This quote was once shared with me by a friend
“People come into our life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When one figures out which one it is, one will know what to do for each person….”.

One does not meet people by accident – they come into our life for a reason.

Yes, even the irritating ones.

If a relationship doesn’t survive the test of time, it doesn’t mean it still wasn’t meant to be.

Not all encounters with people are supposed to last forever. 

Sometimes the “forever” is not the person – but what we gain from them.

There’s a harmony and purpose for each person you meet....

Friendships and relationships, even workplace colleagues nearly always come to an end — as is the natural circle of life. The nature of life is constant change. And change can be a real bitch to say the very least. It can be totally devastating.
One can rest assured on this fact that it is almost certain — one poof and something happens (e.g redundancy, break up, death, car accident) and everything changes...

Comfort is only in putting something through a different lens to view in a different way.

When someone is in our life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need one expressed. They have come to assist us through a difficulty; to provide us with guidance and support..
They seem like a godsend, and they are. Then, without any wrongdoing on our part…they r gone....

When some people come into our life for a SEASON, it is probably our turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring us an experience of peace or make us laugh. They may teach us something one has never done.  Believe it. It is real.
But this is only for a short period of time....

LIFETIME relationships remains,
One has to build a solid emotional foundation. One's job is to accept the person , love & trust the person,
and put one has learned to use in all other relationships and areas of our life....

TYPES which I put my RELATIONSHIPS

FLYOVER

These people are not meant to last for the long road ahead. They are an enjoyable pathway to get us to where we need to go.

These people are needed to arrive exactly at the time and place you met them – to transport us to the next level of our life journey.

One meet these people for a reason – even if they are only here for a season.

JAM....MERS

These people come into your life to delay us – for both little things and big things.

For example,
one might have a conversation with someone – which then delays  and prevents you from getting into accident.

Sometimes rejection is a redirection to something better....
Well, that’s what these people do. They might show up as a rejector – but they are a redirector.

GURU

Often our tormentors double duty as as mentors.

They are here to teach us important life lessons – via the process of pain – which helps us to grow ...

Some people are just straight-up inspiring teachers – who teach us life lessons in a more loving manner.

Devdoot

These people are here to protect us and remind us to stay safe and stay self loving.

They are “guardian angels” of some sort.

Their purpose: Make sure that one does not stray too far from the path one is meant to be on.

In times of need and desperation they help us – when others are not there for

CLAN

These are the ones who are here to stay the long haul.

These people are far and few between – but they are the ones who are loyally there for you during tough times and celebratory times.

They see one clearly and accept one as he/she with flaws

Clan members support  when one is invisible to others.

Clan members root for one with a pure heart – when others might feel competitive or jealous.

Anamika

They represent and symbolize something one desires...
They r dreams... They come... Let us fulfill a dream N vanish
As if they were never there

Web of Relationship.... Entanglement or Love

Are You in a Web of Relationship called entanglement or Love

It's amazing that suddenly my inner psychologist has come back.... recently one of my junior got sought my advice regarding her entanglement which is now creating chaos in her life as she is not able to come out of web........I as time honoured practice of being a psychologist gave her a patient hearing... And later we delved upon the issue... But this led me to think about Web of  entanglement in relationship... 

Meeting someone n still not sure what's the relationship.... It happens n as we grow it happens more... Is it a relationship growing or just N entanglement.... 

Are you in a relationship, or are you in web of entanglement?

A relationship is one where both people are in harmony. And that's exactly what it feels like: in tune, relaxed, and just plain fun.

I feel some or other time we all get web of  entanglements masquerading as real relationships....

It's signatures are 

You keep having the same issues

When you find yourself having the same old argument with your partner for the umpteenth time, that's a pretty good sign you're likely in an entanglement. 

You don't feel safe or understood

Entanglements feel like you have to shut down a part of yourself. If you're feeling like your partner just doesn't get you, and that you're not free to say exactly what's on your mind, you know you're not in a real relationship.

Someone always needs to be right

It is characterized by power struggles. Both people are vying for the title of victim, thus making the other the perpetrator. Nobody ever wins.

It's just so hard

If you're feeling drained with your partner, you're likely caught up in an entanglement. 

Is it normal to be entangled...i feel yes....It's completely normal. 

Most people have been in an entanglement, and a lot of them have been in many.

We all come to relationships with unresolved issues from our past, and we naturally look to our partners to make us feel good about ourselves. And so it's always a surprise when we finally think we've found love, only to experience pain and frustration.

What can be done

Identify that you're in an web of entanglement

Knowing whether you're in a pattern of entanglement is key to resolving it once and for all. Otherwise, there's a "blind spot" that keeps you from moving forward, and you're doomed to keep repeating the pain and struggle.

End the entanglement or transform it into a real relationship

Once you know you're dealing with an entanglement, you can harness all that energy you've been spending on conflict, and instead use it to come up with creative solutions. You can transform the entanglement into a real relationship, or you can end the entanglement with peace of mind, armed with the insight you need to create love and harmony in the future..... 

This is the free advice I gave to my friend... Hope to read your views also.....

CREEP RADAR : LOOKS DON'T MATTER

‍‍‍‍‍I used to think n others used to say my perception about people is invariably correct and I don't get prejudiced.....it helped me a lot in my profession...

But alas I have to confess I faltered sometimes back n got fooled  by a young boy of twenties...I asked for servicing of my aqua guard from service centre ...n after two days this boy came n told that my equipment is U/s so he can replace it but better I should get AMC for 8500 n 5500 ...for which I agreed for ...but then he called once n then stopped picking up phone ..calling to srevice centre as per AMC was in vain..n when I contacted Eureka Forbes I came to know no such servicing centre exist....

This led me to hating myself n getting fooled n paying money for it also ...fortunately with my experience n friends in correct place I have recovered every penny ..but this all because first time I faltered in reading a person 

so what is this...this led me back to my psychology days n this is what I understood....for our creep radar

meeting a person for first time n we all have opinions n judgement..based on so called our ‍ experience...or to say  when it comes to judging whether a person is trustworthy, the standard advice is to go with your gut. 

There's a good reason for that....generally we are impressively good at sniffing out some aspects of other people's character from small details in the way they walk, talk, and even smell. But there's at least one area where you shouldn't trust your gut instincts, that is we are  really bad at figuring out who's a creep.

It makes sense that people would have evolved good creep radar to keep them safe from malevolent actors. It would be handy to know if that guy across the street or lurking near the school playground has bad intentions. That's probably why most of us have been advised to trust our negative instincts about people. If the person comes off like a creep, avoid them, the standard advice goes.That's logical, but it's dead wrong ....

  

Creepy people were generally thought to be lanky wo/men with poor hygiene who behaves awkwardly...... On the other hand, attractive people are deemed to be trustworthy,  be the Olympic medalist or model......

This is an example of the 'halo effect,' a deeply rooted bias where we assume that people who are more attractive are generally more trustworthy, ambitious, healthier, etc...... 

It has a flip side — the 'devil effect' leads us to believe that people who are undesirable in one way are likely undesirable in other ways....

In short, our creep radar is essentially an ugly, ill-kempt human alarm, and chances are it's pretty unfair, causing us to misjudge those not blessed with even features and good muscle tone. That's true whether we are evaluating them as a potential conversation partner, a co- worker, or Ola driver...

The bottom line is our instincts about creeps aren't keeping us safe...

they're just making us more biased against people who don't look good.... 

Please chat with that person who has a neck tattoo...pink .coloured hair...  Hire the woman with deformity as maid.... and educate our kids not to stare at the person with a facial deformity....they should not be treated as creeps ....

ShAred MeMories

How thoughts affect our lives

‍How does thoughts are germinated ...from where they come when we r talking...is there some library or Google cloud of thoughts...

or we r receiver antenna who catches the frequency for which we tune ourselves .

are thoughts a form of energy  .....so it never ceases to exist....

.these were some  questions I have not got any conclusive proof till now....

but Imphal weather n serenity  has again rekindled these thoughts....

To make it simpler ...yes it's true that we gain knowledge through our studies ..n experiences..n observations...which helps us to make views n opinions about certain things...but ...people like me who talks non stop on all stupid topics from where these ideas keep on coming....

so I looked backed again to my psychology days ...n old books n new researches n tried to get some answers...

From where these thoughts come suddenly ...

from repository of thoughts travelling in space ....which means ...thoughts are omnipresent ..for centuries ..n they are  like energy which can't be destroyed but it only changes forms...

I feel for centuries thoughts are traveling ...n people having similar thoughts...or in present those who have shared memories...are able to connect to them by their decryptor in mind...n similarly when ever we think it gets encrypted...for some one to decipher it if s/he is having right codes for it....

Further based on requirement we translate sometimes into words...but most of time these thoughts kindles our emotions ....sudden thought of your old girl friend ...or a tough fight we have been ...n with thoughts our mind gives us emotional feelings as well as associated physiological rigours....so factually thoughts have power of real experiences...

This is my theory...but the practical aspect of it means that if we use this power of thought...we can connect with right people ..called as ESP extra sensory perception....I feel if we create shared memories...n then through thoughts try to relate with each other we can...it's more powerful then WhatsApp..or..video call as it has emotion attached to it....as in our lives shared memories ...n  thoughts are the only thing which makes us tick....

So let's create more shared memories....

IMPHAL DIARY..... ..STORY OF LIKING SOMEONE BY JUST CLICKING

Did you like my post

‍‍‍‍I know just by seeing my post ...most of you will click like button even without reading or commenting on it......

I have started writing blogs  to elicit responses n discussion on thoughts ...but time I post .....likes start coming...which seems without reading....

This post is postmortem of same ..n please don't like ..better read it...

‍‍One of the first things we all do ......in the morning is to check one's social feed. Depending on your poison of choice it could be Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp,Twitter, Tinder,  Snapchat or Linkedin. Whichever platform we’re on, one of the first check points is the ‘notification’ tab. ....

Has anyone liked something of my pictures..

Has anyone tagged me ....n so on....

It’s a habit we quickly get pulled into. It’s addictive. Have you ever stopped to wonder why it’s so addictive?

That little rush we get when your post gets more likes than normal? There is a reason for that rush. Dopamine.

 For every thumbs up or heart we get a little psychological high through a shot of dopamine. The more likes the more shots. The more shots we have, the more shots we want. And we’re in a loop. Scientists used to think dopamine was responsible for pleasure in the brain, but we now know that rather than create pleasure it makes us seek it.

People are more likely to engage with posts that have been endorsed/liked by a large amount of their peers — a follow the crowd mentality.

The amount of ‘likes’ we get generally depends on how many friends or followers we have and the mountain of social psychology that’s happening behind the scene. If you’re looking at the amount of ‘likes’ you get on a post as a sign of engagement, it’s worth knowing the reasons behind your ‘likes

Why do we want to be liked?

Facebook introduced their like button in February 2009 — nearly five years after launching. Ironically, Facebook’s founder Mark Zuckerberg didn’t ‘like it’. History indicates it took nearly two years for the ‘like’ button to get approval. How did we ever use Facebook without a like button? We all want to be liked right?

As social beings we like to talk about ourselves a lot. Either directly or indirectly. More studies indicate we talk about ourselvesnearly 40% of the time! When we start using our keyboard to talk this figure jumps to around 80%.

Why? Face to face communication is quick and occasionally awkward. We don’t have time to think of the words before they’re leaving our mouth. We speak from experience here. Talking online gives us time to think and words can be carefully selected to present yourself in the best possible light. The online space is something we can control.

We share our thoughts and interests primarily because we want to stay connected with the people we care about but also because we want to give others an idea of who we are. If our friends and followers like our posts we feel good. The more likes, the more dopamine, the better we feel.

“Likes are always an indicator of social standing....in mind of person who has posted

As someone who gets anxious and occasionally struggles with self-esteem, the amount of Likes on my posts can be both hugely uplifting or depressing.”

In putting a picture or comment on social media you’re opening yourself up to judgement. You’re making yourself vulnerable to the thoughts of others. If the post doesn’t elicit the reaction you’d hoped for it can hurt. As individuals  we’re seeking approval from our peers. When we get the approval everything is good..

. We feel good — we get a little dopamine hit. It’s why we keep going back for more.

And more....but what if  we don't get desired likes or in comparison lesser then our friends...then we start clicking likes blindly for everyone's posts ..with a thought that others also will do same...you scratch my back I will do same....

Is it scary.....let's be honest may be as an adult we may handle it but what about our kids...n presume some app brought dislike button ...what would happen to self esteem..

Pls understand like is factually a marketing tool by app developer...

by developing an understanding of how a customer wishes to be seen by their peers, brands can serve content designed to reinforce desirable perceptions and improve the likelihood of that customer engaging with such a post.... 

So friends you like..or not my post but please make you n your family aware about this concept of like...have more wonderful liking people around you....