IMPHAL DIARIES: Why We Don't Like to Be Told What to Do

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Why We Don't Like to Be Told What to Do

Would you like an apple or a banana?

“No, I want an orange!

Outdoor gym should be at X place.....the group says Y!

Telling boys to walk in formation ...n once they r free walking like cattle herds!

It's a unique way in children but to see it in adults n that also as a group motivated me to write this blog
 Here one just cannot help but want to do the opposite of what boss ask him/her, or choose whatever option is not in the set.

This tendency to go against the grain is called psychological reactance ....This I am observing throughout my career n now in my present job at this place it is so so true.... Reactance is usually activated when we feel that our freedom is threatened. When we perceive that someone or something is trying to influence us to do something against our will, reactance arises.
Reactance motivates us to protect our own beliefs and views, and sometimes, to do the opposite of what we’re being asked to do.

Not liking to be told what to do also varies by culture. I would call this cultural reactance. For instance, wearing mask varies from culture to culture....

These cultural differences are visible in how society teach their kids: parents in collectivistic cultures are more likely to teach their children obedience and respect for authority; whereas parents in more individualistic cultures,  encourage their children to be more independent, to grow up to be autonomous, and to think and act for themselves

But regardless of our natural or cultural inclinations, sometimes following orders is in our best interest. We should wear a seat belt when we drive, we should stop at red lights, and we should not text and drive.

The natural and cultural inclination of some people to resist any and all forms of "influence" poses a serious challenge to improve and bring positive changes. Their misplaced perception about taking away their freedom or living in an imaginary world  not only affect them but the whole group itself.

HOW to persuade non conformist

  The power of subtle persuasion to influence what we do without triggering our reactance is the Key..... The idea conveyed so  seamlessly and making message resonate with others in ways that give them the illusion that it was their idea all along.

I observed that even highly reactant individuals can get into these subtle influences because it is difficult to perceive indirect messages as an order, and therefore, they are not a threat to freedom.

Nike does not tell us to "Just Buy It," because that would be too direct. Instead, "Just Do it" motivate us to make our own "choices," while implying what the correct choice is (theirs). McDonald's says "I am loving it" implying that there burgers are the best...

Don’t get me wrong: Sometimes reactance can be adaptive.. Being aware and resisting someone trying to unduly influence us can keep kids (and adults!) from succumbing to peer pressure and not following blindly what advertisers signal to us. And yes, questioning authority can generate positive social change.

But, when the influence attempt is for organizational  good—whether principal trying to tell teachers or boss trying to  do the "right" thing—the gut reaction to fight and say no isn’t as useful.

By understanding the triggers that cause us to impulsively make choices that may not actually be in our best interest, we can make choices that not only tap into our desire to remain autonomous, but that also lead to optimal outcomes.