The evolution of relationship

Imphal Diaries

Love.....Never Fades....



Genuine love is profound—it does not come and go every now and then; it is something that is likely to last over time. 

When we are sad, lonely or just feeling like we have lost ourselves, it is natural to look for an alternative situation. And one of the first places to do so is our past, and especially in our relationships with those people with whom we were in love. 

Yearning for our previous friend is a type of nostalgia for circumstances that no longer exist. It is usually marked by an idealization of the past and an element of virtual reliving of the past. Nostalgia is a bittersweet longing, combining the pleasurable feeling of the past with the pain of the empty or dull present. 

When we find ourselves in circumstances similar to those that prevailed with an earlier relationship, we slip more readily into a nostalgic romantic mood. Our memory is activated by any reoccurrence of circumstances that prevailed in the original experience. Listening to old love songs and watching romantic movies can provoke a strong yearning for the past lovers with whom we shared these songs or movies (or the content of them).

The wish to be back with the the person whom you love is not activated merely because our current situation is desperate, but also by the memory of passionate love. Sometimes loneliness makes the loudest noise; at other times, profound love provides louder and deeper music. It is quite natural to yearn for a past relationship, particularly if the original relationship was reciprocal and fulfilling.

When a relationship dies, do we ever really give up the ghost, or are we forever haunted by the spirits of past relationships......

The lure of a possible romantic reunion is great..... 

To sum up, yearning for past relationship is natural, and it may even lead to a successful reunion if they parted ..on a happy note......

METRO DIARIES.... FAKE RELATIONSHIPS

Are You in a Fake Relationship called entanglement

It's amazing that suddenly my inner psychologist has come back.... One of my college friend when told me about his so called relationship.... N seeked my advice I as time honoured practice of being a psychologist gave him a patient hearing... N later we delved upon the issue... But this led me to think about entanglement as relationship... 

Meeting someone n still not sure what's the relationship.... It happens n as we grow it happens more... Is it a relationship growing or just N entanglement.... 

Are you in a relationship, or are you in an entanglement?

A relationship is one where both people are in harmony. And that's exactly what it feels like: in tune, relaxed, and just plain fun.

I feel some or other time we all get entanglements masquerading as real relationships....

It's signatures are 

You keep having the same issues

When you find yourself having the same old argument with your partner for the umpteenth time, that's a pretty good sign you're likely in an entanglement. 

You don't feel safe or understood

Entanglements feel like you have to shut down a part of yourself. If you're feeling like your partner just doesn't get you, and that you're not free to say exactly what's on your mind, you know you're not in a real relationship.

Someone always needs to be right

It is characterized by power struggles. Both people are vying for the title of victim, thus making the other the perpetrator. Nobody ever wins.

It's just so hard

If you're feeling drained with your partner, you're likely caught up in an entanglement. 

Is it normal to be entangled...i feel yes....It's completely normal. 

Most people have been in an entanglement, and a lot of them have been in many.

We all come to relationships with unresolved issues from our past, and we naturally look to our partners to make us feel good about ourselves. And so it's always a surprise when we finally think we've found love, only to experience pain and frustration.

What can be done

Identify that you're in an entanglement

Knowing whether you're in a pattern of entanglement is key to resolving it once and for all. Otherwise, there's a "blind spot" that keeps you from moving forward, and you're doomed to keep repeating the pain and struggle.

End the entanglement or transform it into a real relationship

Once you know you're dealing with an entanglement, you can harness all that energy you've been spending on conflict, and instead use it to come up with creative solutions. You can transform the entanglement into a real relationship, or you can end the entanglement with peace of mind, armed with the insight you need to create love and harmony in the future..... 

This is the free advice I gave to my friend... Hope to read your views also..

metro diary.... metro commuters

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10 Types of People You See on the Delhi Metro As Depicted By These Awesome Doodles

There are two things every person living in Delhi has done at least once in their life - travelled by the Delhi Metro and observed the people around them!  If you can spot or relate to people from the list, do share your story with me!I am all ears!

1. The Pseudo Sleepers



Nobody wants to wake up (and confront) the sleeping giant; even if they are the types who are just pretending to sleep in the space reserved for the old or the physically challenged. These characters can be seen in a Metro on any route - if found, show no remorse and give them a rightful nudge!

2. The Adjustmentals



Have you also had someone tell you, ‘thoda adjust karlo please’? Or been cramped up between people trying hard to share the same seat space with you? Then welcome the Adjustmentals! They squeeze in the tiniest of space they see and eventually leave your rear hanging in mid-air. Beware of them, they will sweet talk you into giving up your seat!

3. The Bitchy Behen Jis



They giggle and chatter in high-pitched tones and riding the metro with them is like listening to an all India radio gossip channel. Ignore the poor ladies as they probably don’t have anything exciting happening in their own lives! ‘Cause if you mess with them, then God alone can save you! 

4. The Bookworms



The most peaceful and harmless of the lot, they’re not bothered about anything that’s happening around them (not even their own kids!) the bookworms are found deeply engrossed in their books. They can be seen in every corner and compartment of the metro. Leave them alone, as they don’t tend to like people butting in or making any conversations with them.

5. The Coochie Coo Couples



These lovebirds can be seen entwined in each other all over the metro! They sometimes are so into each other, they don’t seem to notice how awkward it gets for others around them. If you spot one of these, please be polite and tell them to get a room, not a metro compartment to show their love!

6. The Loudspeakers



These people are noisy and are often seen screeching into their phones, ‘can’t hear you!’. But they don’t get that we surely can, and so they need to stop screaming at the top of their lungs. No point telling them to lower their volume, as these people think it’s cool to talk like this, rap Honey Singh tunes loudly and proudly want everyone to know what’s happening in their lives!

7. The Peeping Peeps



Some people just can’t control their eyes from wandering. They love to spy on other people’s lives by peeping into their phones and just can’t mind their own business! Sit or stand at a distance from such people as they often turn into creepy stalkers!!

8. The Selfie Queens



You often find dolled up selfie queens obsessing over themselves nonchalant of the hustle and bustle of the metro. The selfie formula is the same everywhere - take your positions, angle yourselves, insert pout and *click* away from as far as the arm allows, in burst mode! So, instead of making faces at them, feel bad for them as they are also a victim of the new selfie-disorder!

9. The Sit-Downers



We feel they are the true adjustmentals! They’ll sit anywhere, anyhow, anytime. Where ever they can find a spot, they’ll plonk their bags and perch themselves there. Mostly tired students or exhausted professionals can be seen sitting down at the end of the day.

10. The Men in the Ladies Compartment



It’s a human tendency that when you’re told not to do something or go somewhere, you always want to do just that and so is the case with these men, who always try their luck to get into the ladies compartment. Ladies feel free to throw these perverts out as you have all the right to!

IMPHAL DIARIES: BAS YAHI EK PAL HAI

Is Pal Ke Jalwo Ne Mehfil Sawaari Hai
Is Pal Ki Garmi Ne Dhadkan Ubhaari Hai
Is Pal Ke Hone Se Duniya Hamaari Hai
Ye Pal Jo Dekho To Sadiyo Pe Bhaari Hai
Jeene Waale Soch Le Yahi Waqt Hai Kar Le Purii Aarzoo
Aage Bhi Jaane Na Tu, Peechhe Bhi Jaane Na Tu
Jo Bhi Hai, Bas Yahi Ek Pal Hai

You r reading these words right now.. 

I can say that even though I don't know when you'll read this blog right now, today, tomorrow, later but can say with certainty that right now, you're reading the word "now." That's how special "now" is. And yet, for all the thought that's been devoted to time, science doesn't consider "now" as different from the future or the past... 

Time feels real to people. But it doesn’t even exists.....There is no time variable in the fundamental equations that describe the world.... 

Time as illusion

Time,  is merely a perspective, rather than a universal truth. 

The universe is made up of countless events. 

Time moves slower or faster depending on what you’re doing. The minutes in a conference may look like an hour, while meeting with someone for two hours on a rainy day whom you like passes of like in two minutes

The world seems ordered, going from past to present, linking cause and effect, because of our perspective. We superimpose order upon it, fixing events into a particular, linear series. We link events to outcomes, and this give us a sense of time.

It's confusing

Imagine, for example, that you are on Earth, viewing a far-off planet, called DEJAVUUU, through a telescope. “Now” doesn’t describe the same present on Earth and that planet. The light you on Earth see when looking at DEJAVUU is old news, conveying what was on that planet some years ago. 

This might sound strange, until we consider something as mundane as making an international call. You’re in imphal and talking to friends in Tokyo..

When their words reach your ears, milliseconds have passed, and “now” is no longer the same “now” as it was when the person on the line replied, “I can hear you now.”

Consider, too, that we don’t share the same time in different places. Someone in London is always experiencing a different point in their day than someone in New delhi.  We only share the same time with people in a limited place, and even that is a relatively new invention.

It was not until the 19th century, when train travel demanded uniformity....

By the 20th century, we had agreed upon time zones. But it was a business decision, not a fact of the universe.

Basically, time is a story we’re always telling ourselves in the present tense, individually and together. It’s a collective act of introspection and narrative, record-keeping and expectation, that’s based on our relationship to prior events and the sense that happenings are impending.......a mass delusion..... 

The PAL or MOMENTS forever will remain with us

One can keep on reliving .......... it           as.  IT brings out emotions in us

rest ALLL IS FASANA

metrodiariesfauji.com: BAS YAHI EK PAL HAI

metrodiariesfauji.com: BAS YAHI EK PAL HAI: Metro diaries Is Pal Ke Jalwo Ne Mehfil Sawaari Hai Is Pal Ki Garmi Ne Dhadkan Ubhaari Hai Is Pal Ke Hone Se Duniya Hamaari Hai ...

Metro diaries delhi 2020 LAWNS A SIGN OF ARISTROCACY.... LUTYENS DELHI

LAWNS

a sign of aristrocracy

I used to think why so many people maintain lawns n now seeing in lutyens delhi the love of people for bungalow s n their fetish for lawns... 

‍Lawns are some of the most mundane things in the world until you really start thinking about them. That's when you realize that they make no sense. Why do people keep patches of perfectly manicured, uninteresting, pointless little plants outside their homes? They're not beautiful like flowers, they don't provide food and you have to mow them constantly.

In the Middle Ages, when French and English aristocrats started putting carefully cropped patches of grass at their castle entrances.

Well-kept lawns demanded land and a lot of work, particularly in the days before lawnmowers and automatic water sprinklers. So a job was created for poor people... by landlords... 

Peasants could never afford wasting their time or land on lawns, so these artificial meadows were a perfect status symbol for nobility. They proclaimed,.....I am so rich and powerful, and I have so many acres and serfs, that I can afford this green extravaganza.

This status symbol ended up outlasting the monarchies that created it. Kings and dukes were toppled and killed, but new presidents and prime ministers kept the lawns.

Humans thereby came to identify lawns with political power, social status and economic wealth...

Rich entrepreneurs appeared on the world scene ... And they wanted lawns too.

In this century now middle classes have started being able to afford their own mini versions of wealthy manors: suburban houses. And guess what has became the ultimate suburban status symbol? A perfectly mowed lawn.

People like us may not realize it, but we also meticulously care for patches of grass because centuries ago, medieval kins and badshahs wanted to show off how many people they had ... by intentionally planting something useless. 

It's strange that people would continue to spend so much time and money on what's really a weird leftover from the Middle Ages. But that's history n reality

When we now come to plan our dream house, we might think twice about having a lawn in the front yard

We are free to shake off the cultural cargo bequeathed to us by our netas, capitalist moguls etc. – and imagine a  rock garden, or some altogether new creation...

metro diaries 2020 delhi chapter

CREEP RADAR

‍‍‍‍‍I used to think n others used to say my perception about people is invariably correct and I don't get prejudiced.....it helped me a lot in my profession...

But alas I have to confess I faltered recently n got fooled  by a young boy of twenties...I asked for servicing of my aqua guard from service centre ...n after two days this boy came n told that my equipment is U/s so he can replace it but better I should get AMC for 8500 n 5500 ...for which I agreed for ...but then he called once n then stopped picking up phone ..calling to srevice centre as per AMC was in vain..n when I contacted Eureka Forbes I came to know no such servicing centre exist....

This led me to hating myself n getting fooled n paying money for it also ...fortunately with my experience n friends in correct place I have recovered every penny ..but this all because first time I faltered in reading a person 

so what is this...this led me back to my psychology days n this is what I understood....for our creep radar

meeting a person for first time n we all have opinions n judgement..based on so called our ‍ experience...or to say  when it comes to judging whether a person is trustworthy, the standard advice is to go with your gut. 

There's a good reason for that....generally we are impressively good at sniffing out some aspects of other people's character from small details in the way they walk, talk, and even smell. But there's at least one area where you shouldn't trust your gut instincts, and unfortunately, it's a consequential one. Science suggests you're really bad at figuring out who's a creep.

It makes sense that people would have evolved good creep radar to keep them safe from malevolent actors. It would be handy to know if that guy across the street or lurking near the school playground has bad intentions. That's probably why most of us have been advised to trust our negative instincts about people. If the person comes off like a creep, avoid them, the standard advice goes.That's logical, but it's dead wrong ....

  

Creepy people were generally thought to be lanky wo/men with poor hygiene who behaves awkwardly...... On the other hand, attractive people are deemed to be trustworthy,  be they Nobel Laureates or criminals.......

This is an example of the 'halo effect,' a deeply rooted bias where we assume that people who are more attractive are generally more trustworthy, ambitious, healthier, etc...... 

It has a flip side — the 'devil effect' leads us to believe that people who are undesirable in one way are likely undesirable in other ways....

In short, our creep radar is essentially an ugly, ill-kempt dude alarm, and chances are it's pretty unfair, causing us to misjudge those not blessed with even features and good muscle tone. That's true whether we are evaluating them as a potential conversation partner, a co.worker, or Ola driver...

The bottom line is our instincts about creeps aren't keeping us safe...

they're just making us more biased against people who don't look good.... 

Please chat with that person who has a neck tattoo...pink .coloured hair...  Hire the woman with deformity as maid.... and educate our kids not to stare at the person with a facial deformity....they should not be treated as creeps ....