IMPHAL DIARIES...ARE YOU WHAT YOU WEAR

The world of fashion is often baffling to ordinary people like me.... And specially a trend comes along which seems utterly ridiculous, yet catches on. Take the current obsession with ripped jeans.

You can barely be in any city  without being assailed by bare knees, calves and thighs — all protruding through swatches of tattered denim.

why is everyone wearing ripped jeans?

WHERE DID IT ALL START?

The first pair of jeans were designed in the late 1870s by Loeb Strauss, a German businessman who changed his name to Levi and founded the denim brand.

Using twilled cotton cloth, he created a durable trouser that would suit the working man. Indigo — a dye extracted from an Indian plant — was used to turn them a dark blue, which was thought to be more practical for the working environment.

The ‘ripped’ trend came later, emerging in the cultural punk movement of the Seventies.

The rips signified rebellion: early punks tore apart consumer goods as an expression of their anger towards society, and denim became a key part of this political statement.

... SO WHY ARE THEY BACK NOW?

ripped jeans made a comeback — rebranded as ‘distressed’ denim......

This coincided with an Eighties fashion revival, marked by the return of jumpsuits, high-waisted trousers....but is this only about this or it has underlying social psychology behind it

ENCLOTHED COGNITION

Does clothes affect cognitive processes...it seems thatwhat we wear is symbolic meaning ...so when one wears it, it’s like playing certain roles.

The old saying “you are what you wear” seems so true nowadays when I interact with people from all walks of lifein almost all aspects of life....

WE BECOME WHAT WE WE WEAR

A suit gives you a feeling of being in control of the situation and thus have better insights and make better work-related decisions. So, wearing a suit isn’t just a matter of fashion but a matter of power.

A similar thing happened when in my house I saw my sister's son wearing  Superman T-shirts...it seems to me he feels that he is actually physically stronger then his friends ....It’s a matter of symbolism Superman T-shirt carries – people identify with its superiority and can’t help themselves but feel great while wearing it.

Tight corsets, and sheer gowns will make a woman feel confident and that’s where the sex appeal comes from, not the other way around. Femininity, confidence and sex appeal are closely intertwined and it all comes from the power pretty dresses brings into your life

MOTIVATION TO WORK OUT

Given the fact that we really are what we wear, it’s no surprise that the so-called gym clothing is such a huge thing in fashion right now.  Infact I feel  gym clothes makes one  motivated  to work out....

DRESSING FOR THE AGE YOU FEEL LIKE

It’s true that the line between “old people’s clothes” and “young people’s clothes” is getting blurrier by the year but there’s still a lot of debate what’s appropriate for a certain age and what’s not..... It’s basically like dressing young to feel young but also so much more than that.

An image you have of yourself can affect both one's personality and health without one even noticing it. That’s where clothes come to the rescue – so, dress for the age you feel like and you’ll surely feel the difference.

DRESS TO IMPRESS

We all try not to judge by the first impression but the power of the first contact can’t be neglected. And because it’s usually the most noticeable thing on a person, clothing can influence all kinds of impressions people will have about you. First of all, the clothes one wears show off one's social status and one's cultural values and it all starts in the early childhood. 

From “pink is for girls, blue is for boys” to choosing the colours you’ll wear depending on the event (for example, black is for funerals, white is not welcomed at the weddings), it’s clear that the clothes we wear not only define us but we also use them to define ourselves.

The only thing that differentiates the  concept of fashion and style is first is embedded in time while second is timeless .. the choice lays with the you..

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Yes, clothing helps in sending and deliver a message but it’s up to individual to choose what kind of message one wants to send. As we all know.... dressing up is a powerful thing and, as it is with every weapon – it should be used carefully so it doesn’t turn against you. So, one should use his/ her wardrobe smartly – to express oneself, boost one's personality...to show the world who we really are. It can really make a difference!

IMPHAL DIARIES : OPPOSITE ATTRACTS IN RELATIONSHIP

‍‍‍‍‍‍ It's a predominant notion  that people of similar class and religious backgrounds do tend to have more successful marriages and relationships.
It is always better to have similarities in your personal history and to have interests in common.
When a person feels a strong liking to someone, they make up stories in their mind about what is causing the attraction. Often the story is about physical attractiveness or shared interests.

There is another dynamic that is less easy to identify, that is going on in an unconscious way, more like magnetic attraction complementing the deeper force at work....

There is a deep intuitive knowing that brings us to partners who are in many ways quite different than we are. Some deep, wise knowing part of us senses the strengths that the desired individual has, that lie dormant in ourselves, and we want those strengths. 

The Drive for Wholeness

It is the inner drive for mastery that recognizes, with great excitement, the possibility for growth if we were to partner with them. Here are some examples of attraction.

One partner: 

is more adventurous and the other is more interested in comfort, predictability, and security. 

is conflict-avoidant, while the other is more at ease with debate and expression of strong feelings.

is introverted, and knows the importance of solitude, silence, inner looking, and being alone without being lonely, while the extravert knows the importance of expressing their inner life, socializing, and the tremendous importance of connection. 

tends to live in their feelings and intuition and the other is strong in analytical thinking. 

is more contemplative and the other is action-oriented.

is artistically inclined and the other is practical. 

plans for the future and the other is spontaneous and lives in the present moment. 

prizes relationships and the other is achievement-oriented. 

is passive and the other is assertive, or even aggressive.

is dedicated to spiritual practice and the other is worldly.

These are only a few examples of the ways in which partners complement each other. If the differences are too great, they can become a source of pain. But when awareness of the differences is held as an opportunity to grow, they are seen with a positive orientation. There is excitement about engaging in the discovery and the potential that can be developed over time. 

Since no matter how well-matched we are in the background, there are inevitably going to be differences, we might as well use them to our advantage. We can either deny the differences, try to make our partner more like us (which won’t work either), or use the differences as a growth opportunity.

In a dynamic, evolving relationship, these are the traits that may be lying dormant that are stimulated by our partner so that we can become more of who we can be.

UNMASKING OUR UNCONSCIOUS....DEEP DESIRES

To find them and allow them to come out into the light is called “shadow work.” If there are traits in ourselves that we have disowned for fear that they could harm us in some way, we will be intolerant of those very traits in others. Our reactivity points directly at the shadow work awaiting us. Our work is to face those parts of ourselves and to befriend them. 

This procss of discovery is exciting and stimulating. Even those couples who have been together for many years keep finding more hidden aspects of themselves emerging. The process is filled with the fascination of the discovery of aspects of the self and aspects of others, a process that keeps love fresh and alive and that’s about as good as it gets.

IMPHAL DIARIES : A LAYMAN'S ANALYSIS OF ONE OF MOST EVOLVED SOCIETY MEITEIS

‍I had a wonderful time playing Holi n that also with all fun n frolic for five days in my life ..that's Imphal 

I was mesmerized by such a culturally evolved society but it was bit confusing as there were certain practice I was not able to understand like holika dahan...which got me more intrigued to understand this Manipuri culture....

These are some information which is based on books n interaction with locals...

 In the very olden times Manipur valley was inhabited by the people belonging to seven clans who were commonly called Meitei or Meeteis.  The Meiteis had their own system of religion, which had its own myths and legends, Gods and Goddesses, priests and priestesses, rituals and festivals, etc. though it was more or less akin to the animism of the tribals. The Meiteis embraced Hinduism in the 18^th century A.D. 

The tribes of the hills remained unconverted and were relegated by the new Manipuri Hindus to the "degraded heathens". In the later part of the history, when Manipur fell into the hands of British Administrators, missionaries were brought in the hills n converted the tribes to Christianity.

The Manipuri Muslims or "Meitei Pangals" were settled with their religion in Manipur Valley during the 17^th century onwards. They are called "Pangans" as derived from Bengal (Bangan then Pangan) the place where they migrated.

 

The people settling in the valley are called Tam-mee (Valley people) while the people settling in the hills are called Ching-mee( Hill people ). The various social categories like scheduled tribe, scheduled caste and general were made only after Manipur merged with India.

  The Meiteis who form the major community have their own Creation myth....Their creation Myth clearly shows how the various plants, living things including humanbeings were created. The Gods who took part in the Creation were considered as powerful Gods and they are worshipped till today.

 Every Meitei household keeps a sacred place for Lainingthou Sanamahi who played a major role in creation. Along with this a sacred place for Universal Mother Goddess”Ema Leimarel Sidabi” is also kept separately.. Above this the Meiteis also worship Pakhangba as God of the world outside the household (lamlai).   Lai Haraoba which is performed till today is a very important festival which depicts everything from creation till stage by stage development of Meitei Civilization. The real identity of Meiteis can be established from Lai Haraoba only. The religions, customs, beliefs of the Meiteis are all based on Creation ...

Interaction with Hinduism:

In early 17th century the king turned towards Hinduism. He constructed a temple dedicated to Lord Krishna   The king readied himself to get baptized by to Sakhya religion. Shakhya religion was also called Nimandi Religion and they were the worshippers of Lord Vishnu and his incarnation Lord Krishna.Vishnu Upasana is also calledVaishnavism. a

Later a Brahmin named Shantidas along with his  followers  came to Manipur to spread Ramandi religion. Then King Pamheiba under his influence abandoned Sakhya religion and turned towards the new religion called Ramandi.  Ramandi religion was the religion of Lord Rama worshippers. Shantidas enlightened the mind of king Pamheiba about the difference between these two Hindu religions. i.e.Nimandi and Ramandi. He explained thus – Nimandi religion is the religion of an ascetic. Its follower has to renounce all worldly pleasures and wealth. This religion belongs to the pious and the saintly people. Such religion is inappropriate for a Kshatriya warrior ..

Then King tried to forcibly convert his people into the new religion by leaving their old Manipuri religious practices... But the people had deep rooted sentiment for the old Manipuri religion. So the conversion was not completely successful, even though there were some changes. 

Shantidas knew that the mentality of the people would not be easily changed so he tried different ways to deal with the situation. Some of the changes he introduced were 

Brahmins were allowed to enter the Meitei temples  to perform the various religious rites.

Then king gave the order to dug out the buried bodies of the dead and the skeletal remains were collected and burnt and the ashes were thrown to Ningthi river. From then  onwards the Meiteis started cremating their dead.

Before this the Meiteis did not cremated their dead. Instead there was practice of burial of dead bodies. In the next year the grave would be dug out again to collect the bones. The bones were thoroughly washed and then put in a pot to perform the last rites. This was called Mang Chanba or secondary burial. For the kings and the noblemen the skull was covered with gold or silver and buried again. Then on the completion of one year instead of secondary burial a death anniversary called Kumon Phiroi is being observed.

 Rearing of pigs and fowls in the household was prohibited. People were fined if they did so.

During this time, with the falling of misfortune in the land and instability in the minds of the people for their unwillingness to leave old religion and accept new religion, there was utter confusion.

So in order to pacify the minds of the people  Shantidas advised the king to revive Sanamahi worship saying that God was one and Sanamahi was the incarnation of Shri Krishna and Rama was also the incarnation of Lord Vishnu. With these  a sacred place for Lainingthou Sanamahi was maintained and worshipping started. 

But the efforts for conversion to Ramandi religion never ceased. Shantidas thought that until and unless the priceless old manuscripts called Puyas were destroyed people would not accept his religion. So in 1732 A.D all the Puyas..religious text  were collected and put to flames in front of Kangla Utra. This incident is called Puya Meithaba in the history of Manipur. In this fire around 120 different Puyas were burnt but it was presumed that the actual number of manuscripts were much more than this. 

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However hard Shantidas and the king tried Meitei religion could not be totally replaced by the new religion. This forcible conversion led to a great rift between the king and his people. Seeing the situation Shantidas adopted new measures to appease the people.

 The statue of Lainingthou Sanamahi which was destroyed  was made again by casting in bronze. 

People were then allowed to worship Sanamahi at their homes as before. Worshipping of Umang lai was again revived. 

At the same time many Hindu Religious festivals were introduced to the land. The festivals were happily accepted by the people and they became a part of the people’s lives. 

 How Manipur was named:

 With the introduction of Hinduism this land had seen many changes. On the advice of Shantidas this land was named Manipur.   Then King Pamheiba also got a new Hindu name i.e. Garibniwaz. The Queen’s name changed to Gomti. 

During this time the traditional festivals of the Meiteis got mixed with Hindu festivals thereby losing its original form.

After Maharaj Garibniwaj a strong wave of Vaishnavism arose during the reign of Maharaj Bhagyachandra. By then Hinduism had rooted deeply in the soil of Manipur. Statue of  Shri Govind was erected and Ras Leela played. The belief became so strong during the time of Chandrakirti and Churachand Maharaj that speaking without Sanskrit or Bengali words was considered a sign of uncivilized nature. A form of social division called Amang – Aseng (somewhat similar tountouchability) began to flourished. People who did not follow Hindu religion were considered as inferior people.

Mixed Culture: A racial unconscious

Even though Hinduism became the main religion of Manipur the traditional religious beliefs and customs were not totally lost. The religion followed by the Meiteis is a combination of both Meitei and Hindu religion. It is in a synchronous

form. In every household a sacred place each for Lainingthou Sanamahi, Leimarel and Emoinu is maintained. Even the Brahmins who came and settled in Manipur also worshipped Sanamahi in their homes. Umang Lai Haraoba still remains as a purely Meitei festival. It remains unaffected by Hindu religion. But the festivals, various rituals from birth till death all exhibit a mixed form of Meitei religion and Hindu religion.

While making houses the Meiteis still follow the traditional manner and practices. Whenever it comes to selection of proper site the Meitei tradition is followed while laying of foundation and consecration are done in Hindu style by consulting Brahmins.

 Inside the houses Sanamahi and Leimarel are worship, outside the houses the Meiteis worship the Tulasi (Sacred basil) planted in their courtyards. Images of Hindu Gods and Goddesses like Saraswati (Goddess of learning), Lakshmi (Goddess of wealth), Durga ( Goddess of war/valour), Vishwakarma ( God of skill) are worship from tome to time. Shiv – ratri, Govardhan Puja are being performed. Along with these the Meiteis also offer vegetables or fruits to Sanamahi everyday or from time to time. Whenever misfortune befall on any person ancestor worship is carried out. There is no Hindu influence here. The Meiteis also carries out worship of Emoinu who is the Goddess of wealth as Goddess Laxmi is worshipped by Hindus..

The Manipuri Ras Leela is a world renowned classical dance form of India. The main theme is based on the story of Krishna (Hindu God)  and Radha. But the art form, costumes and inner concept all belong to this land.

Rath Jatra is a part of Hindu religion. This is done in Manipur also. In Manipur a big Rath (Chariot) is drawn from the palace and this is called Konung Kang Chingba. Besides these many smaller raths are drawn in different localities. The tradition followed in Manipur is different from other places. The palace rath should be drawn first before the rathas of the localities. During night a song and dance ritual called Choitep Chongba is performed and khichdi is prepared as prasad. Choitep Chongba is actually singing the songs of Geet Gobind, Das Avtar of the Poet Jaydeva which is accompanied by dancing. Men, Women, Old and young all can take part in this dance which is usually performed in the Mandap (a big space in front of the temple). 

So, now in this present times, meitei have divide into two types are according to the religion they follow which is 

a.   Goura 

B.  Meitei Marup

Goura follows the rituals and tradition which is mixture of both hinduism and sanamahism while Meitei Marup only follows Sanamahism. 

So if we look at above it seems that Manipuri society is still evolving between racial unconscious as well as personal unconscious....They r really to be proud of as how they have evolved n made everything as part of their culture..a true representation of unity in diversity....

IMPHAL DIARIES: Why We Don't Like to Be Told What to Do

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Why We Don't Like to Be Told What to Do

Would you like an apple or a banana?

“No, I want an orange!

Outdoor gym should be at X place.....the group says Y!

Telling boys to walk in formation ...n once they r free walking like cattle herds!

It's a unique way in children but to see it in adults n that also as a group motivated me to write this blog
 Here one just cannot help but want to do the opposite of what boss ask him/her, or choose whatever option is not in the set.

This tendency to go against the grain is called psychological reactance ....This I am observing throughout my career n now in my present job at this place it is so so true.... Reactance is usually activated when we feel that our freedom is threatened. When we perceive that someone or something is trying to influence us to do something against our will, reactance arises.
Reactance motivates us to protect our own beliefs and views, and sometimes, to do the opposite of what we’re being asked to do.

Not liking to be told what to do also varies by culture. I would call this cultural reactance. For instance, wearing mask varies from culture to culture....

These cultural differences are visible in how society teach their kids: parents in collectivistic cultures are more likely to teach their children obedience and respect for authority; whereas parents in more individualistic cultures,  encourage their children to be more independent, to grow up to be autonomous, and to think and act for themselves

But regardless of our natural or cultural inclinations, sometimes following orders is in our best interest. We should wear a seat belt when we drive, we should stop at red lights, and we should not text and drive.

The natural and cultural inclination of some people to resist any and all forms of "influence" poses a serious challenge to improve and bring positive changes. Their misplaced perception about taking away their freedom or living in an imaginary world  not only affect them but the whole group itself.

HOW to persuade non conformist

  The power of subtle persuasion to influence what we do without triggering our reactance is the Key..... The idea conveyed so  seamlessly and making message resonate with others in ways that give them the illusion that it was their idea all along.

I observed that even highly reactant individuals can get into these subtle influences because it is difficult to perceive indirect messages as an order, and therefore, they are not a threat to freedom.

Nike does not tell us to "Just Buy It," because that would be too direct. Instead, "Just Do it" motivate us to make our own "choices," while implying what the correct choice is (theirs). McDonald's says "I am loving it" implying that there burgers are the best...

Don’t get me wrong: Sometimes reactance can be adaptive.. Being aware and resisting someone trying to unduly influence us can keep kids (and adults!) from succumbing to peer pressure and not following blindly what advertisers signal to us. And yes, questioning authority can generate positive social change.

But, when the influence attempt is for organizational  good—whether principal trying to tell teachers or boss trying to  do the "right" thing—the gut reaction to fight and say no isn’t as useful.

By understanding the triggers that cause us to impulsively make choices that may not actually be in our best interest, we can make choices that not only tap into our desire to remain autonomous, but that also lead to optimal outcomes. 

The evolution of relationship

Imphal Diaries

Love.....Never Fades....



Genuine love is profound—it does not come and go every now and then; it is something that is likely to last over time. 

When we are sad, lonely or just feeling like we have lost ourselves, it is natural to look for an alternative situation. And one of the first places to do so is our past, and especially in our relationships with those people with whom we were in love. 

Yearning for our previous friend is a type of nostalgia for circumstances that no longer exist. It is usually marked by an idealization of the past and an element of virtual reliving of the past. Nostalgia is a bittersweet longing, combining the pleasurable feeling of the past with the pain of the empty or dull present. 

When we find ourselves in circumstances similar to those that prevailed with an earlier relationship, we slip more readily into a nostalgic romantic mood. Our memory is activated by any reoccurrence of circumstances that prevailed in the original experience. Listening to old love songs and watching romantic movies can provoke a strong yearning for the past lovers with whom we shared these songs or movies (or the content of them).

The wish to be back with the the person whom you love is not activated merely because our current situation is desperate, but also by the memory of passionate love. Sometimes loneliness makes the loudest noise; at other times, profound love provides louder and deeper music. It is quite natural to yearn for a past relationship, particularly if the original relationship was reciprocal and fulfilling.

When a relationship dies, do we ever really give up the ghost, or are we forever haunted by the spirits of past relationships......

The lure of a possible romantic reunion is great..... 

To sum up, yearning for past relationship is natural, and it may even lead to a successful reunion if they parted ..on a happy note......