The psychology of Attraction: Why do we like someone ?

Most of us have felt it.

You go about your day and life, unsuspecting, and then it hits you. All it takes is a look, a smile, a smell. And you’re toasted! It’s the most amazing thing. 

I asked my friends n best viewpoint I liked is:

"I normally like someone or want to be around ( in the first place) when I feel positive vibes around the person, . Question is how would I know?"

                                                    Demi

 

Long back I met this girl  posted to my place....n boom I'm  gone......n still hanginng out with her

What is it that made us click .....is it some neuro transmitter which matched the frequency and then brains get flooded in chemicals that keep pulling us closer to that person.

According to neurologists who have researched it, the brain of someone who gets fatal attraction looks a lot like a brain of a heroin addict! Some signs  which can help are

1. Your stomach flutters

Those matchmaker chemicals are busy again, this time releasing adrenaline into your veins so that when it is released, you get all the ‘feels.’  And if the chemistry is making its reaction as  first sight trick on you, you can expect powerful butterflies.

2. It feels as though you’ve met them before

3. Nerves kick in when you are around them

looking at this person makexpect

 stutter or feel your nerves prickling sign 

4. You are confused by your reaction

You are drawn to this person, and you just don’t know why because they are far from your ‘norm,’ but you are so attracted to then

5. You are compelled to talk to them

 You have an   unstoppable desire  to go and speak to them, despite being a  wreck. 

6. You can’t get them out of your mind

7. You smile thinking about them

8. You feel your heart facing

9. You get a sudden urge to see/ meet them

10. You find them extremely attractively

There r various reasons but these five...aspects have root into abovementioned aspects

Proximity: How near you are to someone and how often you see them

Similarity: how like you they are, for example, do you share similar interests or valued

Reciprocity: we’re more likely to like people who like us

Physical Attractiveness: are they pleasing to look at as per your parameters

Familiarity: we like people who seem comfortable to us

This seems familiar

Most of these factors have in the past been attributed with how we’ve evolved as humans. We are attracted to those who seem familiar to us, as familiarity provides predictability and safety.

So for example, if someone in your family or group of friends that you grew up with was really funny, and you enjoy their company, you might be likely to be more attracted to funny people when you grow up, because it’s something that you’re used to.

These factors can also be linked. Like proximity and familiarity: if you see someone every day, you’re likely going to get used to their company over time, until it gets to a point where you’re very comfortable with them and it would feel strange not having them around.

Don’t stand so close to me

Proximity has always been, and to some extent still is, considered the most important part of why we’re attracted to someone, or even why we’re friends with someone.

If you look at people who use Facebook for example you still find the people they would claim to be their best friends tend to be in close proximity to them. 

Dating apps have gone some way to change this however. Where in the past you might have been limited to the people in your immediate circle or community to pick a date from, now you have hundreds upon thousands of more options.

Technology has “changed the way that we interact with people and the number of people that we can potentially be attracted to”, as now we can swipe through hundreds of potential friends every few minutes.

Whatever said still whatever age you are once in a while these butterflies in your stomach makes you feel alive. ..so IT'S  STILL FUN TO LIVE 

 

No restriction of age

not the bond of lives
when someone loves

 should see only the soul
by carving new trend

 Make the trend immortal

MORALOMETER....IT IS EASY TO JUDGE OTHERS...DIFFICULT IS TO RECOGNIZE YOUR OWN MISTAKES

We are very good lawyers for our own mistakes, 

and very good judges for the mistakes of others

How bad s/he is

See s/he is having extra marital affair

We all have this moralometer...moral compass which we are always using it on other people...

We are always using it on public figures specially politicians. ..govt. Servants...newsmakers.. colleague...n..neighbours

 but when it had to look within most of times it gives confused readings......

Imagine, if you can have an accurate moralometer—an inexpensive device you could point at someone to get an accurate reading of their overall moral goodness or badness. Point it at a criminal and see it plunge down into the deep red of evil. Point it at your favorite friend and see it rise up to the bright green of near perfection. Would this be a good thing or a bad thing to have?

But here comes the dichotomy ...although there is no.such machine but we all tend to have it....

 

Do morally good people make better business leaders, or better school teachers, or better spouses, or better civil engineers? Simply look for correlations between moralometer outputs and performance measures. Voila.

Imagine, too, the practical uses!

 Take a moralometer reading beforehand, to ensure you aren't marrying a wrong person... Before taking those wedding vows... bring out the moralometer. Actually, you might as well use it on the first date.

But... Wow what a dichotomy ....although it doesn't  exist....everybody is using it against others except on Self.......

Coming After a beautiful social evening....

Firat thing we do is to judge the host of party....... 

We all just know, cheaply and easily, who are the saints, who are the devils, and where everyone else is situated throughout the middle except ourselves. 

THATS  WHY I THINK

Maybe JUDGING moral character is nobody's business.

If moral character is mostly about how you generally treat people in the world around you, well, that seems like that very much is other people's business. 

If moral character is about how you would hypothetically act in various situations, a case could be made that even those hypotheticals are other people's business: The HR department, the future spouse, etc., might reasonably want to know whether you are, in general, the type of person who would, when the opportunity arises, lie and cheat, exploit others, shirk, take unfair advantage.

Maybe the issue is fairness? If accurate moralometers were prevalent, maybe people low on the moral scale would have trouble finding jobs and romantic partners. Maybe they'd be awarded harsher sentences for committing the same crimes as others of more middling moral status. Maybe they'd be shamed at parties, on social media, in public gatherings—forced to confess their wrongs, made to promise penance and improvement?

But unfortunately  in real life moral character are  found to be poorly correlated with, or even inversely correlated with, business success, or success in movies, or creative talent. 

So in public life  low to middling mortality is not being a stigma—maybe even in some circles a badge of honor. Maybe it's the prudish, the self-righteous, the precious, the smug, the sanctimonious who value morality so much. Most of us might rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints.

Your judgments about another person say more about your own character than the character of the person you are pointing a finger at.

This is the key and one of the most fundamental insights about the ‘red flags’ that we often dismiss regarding the people in our lives. If someone complains a lot to you about other people, guess what? That is part of their current character. And, as quickly as the tide changes, you can just as easily become the person they target and criticize, point fingers at, and negatively judge. Forever and always, until vibrations are raised, this will be the cycle of the relationship. So, it’s your choice to continue to engage in the cycle with them, or to move on.

When they judge you, yawn.
When they misunderstand you, smile.
When they underestimate you, laugh.
When they condemn you, ignore.
When they envy you, rejoice.
When they oppose you, prevail.