When Good Looks Deceive: Rethinking Our Inner Judge
“He seemed nice.”
“She looked trustworthy.”
“I just had a feeling…”
How often have we said these things—and been completely wrong?
I used to believe my instinct about people was almost foolproof. Friends said it, colleagues affirmed it—I had that so-called “sixth sense” for judging character.
Until recently, I didn’t.
๐ก The Scam That Shook My Confidence
A young man, perhaps in his twenties, came to service my Aqua Guard. He looked clean, spoke politely, seemed informed. After a brief check, he said the unit was unserviceable.
“Why don’t you take an AMC for ₹8500 or ₹5500?” he suggested.
I agreed.
He called once after taking the payment… and then vanished.
When I contacted Eureka Forbes directly, I was told: there is no such service center.
Yes, I’d been conned.
But the real sting? That I’d fallen for it—not because he was clever, but because he looked trustworthy.
That’s when it hit me: my inner judge wasn’t objective—it was biased.
๐ง Enter: The Halo Effect (and Its Evil Twin)
Psychologists call this the Halo Effect—when someone is physically attractive or behaves confidently, we assume they are also good, honest, competent.
And the Devil Effect?
It makes us assume someone is dishonest, awkward, or “creepy” simply because they look or act outside our comfort zone.
So:
- A neat, confident man scams me.
- A heavily tattooed person gets wrongly avoided.
- A woman with a facial deformity gets silently judged in public.
Sounds familiar?
๐ Let’s Talk About Your Inner Judge
Be honest—ever done this?
✅ Quick quiz:
- Have you ever avoided someone just because of their looks?
- Have you instantly liked someone because of their smile or dress?
- Have you assumed someone with a disability was less capable?
We all have. And that doesn’t make us evil.
But it does mean we need to upgrade our thinking.
๐จ The Real Danger Isn't Who You Think
We rely too heavily on what I call our “Creep Radar”—but it’s not detecting actual danger.
Instead, it’s tuned to superficial signals:
- Messy hair? Suspicious.
- Awkward social cues? Creepy.
- Confident voice, nice shirt? Must be reliable.
In truth, your radar is judging difference, not danger.
๐ฃ Here’s What We Can Do, Together
- Talk to the person with the nose ring and dyed pink hair.
- Hire the hardworking woman with a limb difference—not out of pity, but because she’s capable.
- Teach your children not to stare at facial differences, but to see the person behind them.
- Pause before labelling someone a “creep”—and ask: Why do I really feel this way?
๐ What I Learned the Hard Way
I got fooled. But in the process, I learned:
- Looks can lie.
- Politeness can be a mask.
- Our instincts aren’t perfect—they’re programmed with bias.
And perhaps most importantly:
The real creeps aren’t always the ones who look unusual—
They’re often the ones who blend in perfectly.
๐ฏ Challenge for You
Next time you feel an instant judgement about someone, ask yourself:
- Is this about them?
- Or is it about my conditioning?
Because real wisdom lies not in reading faces,
But in recognizing our own filters.
Let’s break free of the Halo Trap.
Superb, very much practical and useful in day to day life.
ReplyDeleteWell said Bhai. So true
ReplyDeleteVery nicely explained phenomenon in absolute precision.
ReplyDeleteเคเคธ เคช्เคฐเคाเคฐ เคे เคงोเคों เคा เคตिเคตเคฐเคฃ เคธเคคเคฏुเค เคธे เคฒेเคเคฐ เคฆ्เคตाเคชเคฐ เคคเค เคी เคเคฅाเคं เคฎें เคฎिเคฒเคคा เคนै। เคธीเคคा เคนเคฐเคฃ, เคाเคฒเคจेเคฎी-เคนเคจुเคฎाเคจ เคเคฅा, เคंเคฆ्เคฐ-เค เคนिเคฒ्เคฏा เคช्เคฐเคธंเค เคเคค्เคฏाเคฆि เค เคจेเค เคเคฆाเคนเคฐเคฃ เคญเคฐे เคชเคก़े เคนैं।
ReplyDeleteเคेเคตเคฒ เคฆेเคเคเคฐ เคตाเคธ्เคคเคตिเค เคธเคค्เคฏ เคो เคाเคจ เคฒेเคจे เคी เคฆृเคท्เคि เคฆुเคฐ्เคฒเคญ เคนी เคนोเคคी เคนै।
Very nice sir ๐not to judge someone by their physical appearance...
ReplyDeleteThis piece really hits home! The story and psychological insight around the Halo Effect are eye-opening. We often pride ourselves on our intuition, but this article shows how easily appearance can distort judgment. I especially liked the reminder that our ‘creep radar’ is tuned to difference, not danger—a powerful truth. Your practical suggestions for unlearning bias, like engaging beyond appearances and questioning our conditioning, make this more than just a cautionary tale; it’s a call to conscious action. Thank you for writing something so relevant and reflective!
ReplyDeleteGreat content. This seems like happened with me for multiple times but never thought so deeply.
ReplyDeletePolicing our inner judgments is vital in a world where appearances can mislead. Empathy and open-mindedness sometimes does th3 magic
ReplyDeleteเคญाเคฐเคคीเคฏ เคชเคฐंเคชเคฐा *TRUST* เคी เคฐเคนी เคนै , เคเคชเคจे เค เคชเคจे เคเคธ เคเคฐ्เคिเคเคฒ เคे เคฎाเคง्เคฏเคฎ เคธे เคนเคฎें เคเค เคฌाเคฐ เคชुเคจ: Introspection เคी เคเคฐ เคช्เคฐेเคฐिเคค เคिเคฏा เคนै ।
ReplyDeleteเคฏเคน เคฌिเคฒ्เคुเคฒ เคถเคค เคช्เคฐเคคिเคถเคค เคธเคนी เคนै เคि เคो เคฆिเค เคฐเคนा เคนै เคเคฐूเคฐी เคจเคนीं เคि เคตเคน เคตैเคธा เคนी เคนो ..... เค เค्เคธเคฐ เคธाเคฎाเคจ्เคฏ เคเคจ เคเคธे เคนी เคเคฒ - เคช्เคฐเคชंเค เคเคฐ เคทเคก्เคฏंเคค्เคฐ เคा เคถिเคाเคฐ เคฌเคจเคคा เคนै .....।
Good article Sir! An insight to how our mind works and how we get carried away with external appearance and things.
ReplyDelete