Recently one of a known young girl who is smart, witty, elegant, good looking, earning well having a long term relationship with a man who was unemployed and average person...She told that boy had broken up with her...I was surprised...how is it possible...but when I learnt the dynamics of her relationship ..I understood that cost benefit dynamics has not been working in terms of emotional gratification for the boy....
We all have seen and been into so many relationships wherein we always try to understand from different perspectives how it's dynamics work ...
As i understand our behaviour always works on principle to maximize benefits and minimize costs.
Relationship are not tangible like other things in world as liking, desires, interest, hate, anger, enthusiasm, love etc. can't be quantified therefore their cost or benefit...is based entirely on an individual's past experience, her/his current situation/ requirement and other person's past experience....
Therefore this cost benefit analysis is an ongoing process working subconsciously in mind analyzing value of relationship cost...i/r/o time, money etc...and seeks/expects benefit in terms of equitable involvement ..time...etc which is cornerstone for relationship's evolution in future or termination
We all are constantly weighing the potential benefits and risks of relationships. When the risks outweigh the rewards or vice versa we carry on or terminate relationship.
Most relationships are made up of a certain amount of give-and-take, but this does not mean that they are always equal. It is the valuing of the benefits and costs of each relationship that determine whether or not we choose to continue a social association.
Aspects of Human relationships
Costs vs. Benefits
We essentially take the benefits of a relationship and subtract the costs in order to determine how much it is worth.
- Costs involve things that you see as negatives, such as having to put money, time, and effort into a relationship. For example, if you have a friend who always borrows money from you, this might be seen as a high cost.
- Benefits ...are things that you get out of the relationship, such as fun, companionship & intimacy. Your friend might be a bit odd, but bring a lot of fun and excitement to your life. As you are determining the value of the friendship, you might decide that the benefits outweigh the potential costs.
Positive relationships are those in which the benefits outweigh the costs.
Negative relationships occur when the costs are greater than the benefits.
Expectations and Comparison Levels
Cost-benefit analysis plays a major role in this process, but so do expectations....
As people weigh benefits against the costs, they do so by establishing a comparison level that is often influenced by past experiences.
If your next romantic partner tends to be more reserved and less emotional, that person might not measure up to your expectations.
If you have always had poor friendships, your comparison levels at the start of a relationship will be lower than a person who has always had caring friends....
The idea that relationships are based on an exchange can impact how we relate with others.
The Honeymoon Phase
The length of a friendship or romance can play a role in the social exchange process. During the early weeks or months of a relationship, often referred to as the "honeymoon phase," people are more likely to ignore the social exchange balance.
Things that would normally be viewed as high cost are dismissed, ignored, or minimized, while potential benefits are often exaggerated. When this honeymoon period finally comes to an end, there will often be a gradual evaluation of the exchange balance.
At this point, downsides become more apparent and benefits start to be seen more realistically. This recalibration of the exchange balance might also lead to the termination of the relationship if the balance is tipped too far toward the negative side...
Evaluating the Alternatives
Another aspect of the social exchange process involves looking at possible alternatives. After analyzing the costs and benefits and contrasting these against your comparison levels, you might start to look at other options.
The relationship might not measure up to your comparison levels, but as you survey the potential alternatives, you might determine it is still better than anything else available. As a result, you might reassess the relationship in terms of what may now be a somewhat lower comparison..
Analysis
So whatever way we see relationship somewhere this ...concept of equity or cost benefit analysis is a continuous process in our mind.... whether we agree or not
