𝙵𝙾𝚁𝙶𝙴𝚃𝚃𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙰 𝚃𝙾𝙾𝙻 𝙵𝙾𝚁 𝙼𝙴𝙼𝙾𝚁𝚈

IMPHAL DIARIES

𝙵𝙾𝚁𝙶𝙴𝚃𝚃𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙰 𝚃𝙾𝙾𝙻 𝙵𝙾𝚁 𝙼𝙴𝙼𝙾𝚁𝙸𝙴𝚂

Have you ever felt that you know the person but can't remember her/him..or we r not able to recollect an episode of life ...while our friends recall about it as it happened yesterday ....or people meet n say hi to you but you r not able to even place them in your life...

Generally people around us takes a very positive view of memories and the act of remembering: we esteem the study of history, we are expected to take photos to capture precious moments; we think that old injustices should be made good in the present; we promise not to forget old acquaintances ...when we r leaving school ...colleges..etc

But without denying the value of any of this,  we  need to do something else: forget. 

Certain memories threaten to destroy the very existence of an individual – although it's bit extreme but certain memories r bad for present or future living...

If we held onto everything that had ever happened to us in all the multicolour vividness of the original event, we’d be overburdened with anxiety and sadness, we’d be continuously terrified and consumed with regret: we’d be driven to despair by all the meanness we’d encountered, all the stupidity we’d been guilty of and all the beauty and goodness we had lost. 

𝙏𝙤 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖 𝙥𝙤𝙤𝙧 𝙢𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙮 𝙞𝙨 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙢𝙗𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨

We should remember only in so far as it actually helps us to live in the present. To the extent that memories assist us in forming our plans and avoiding error, they are valuable, but when memories function as obstacles to better lives, we should put our energies into the business of forgetting.

The best way to forget is not just time, but – more exactly – events. So as to separate ourselves from the things that haunt us, we have to ensure that we can lay down a dense layer of events between us and they; we need – in short – to make stuff happen.

This is particularly true after a  breakup, when certain places, times of day and activities remain tightly linked to the past and constantly evoke it painfully:

– Whenever we see the old tea add 

..some building etc we are carried back to memories of cosy days n evenings spent there together.

– Riding our bike down the open roads triggers thoughts of energising trips we made there on balmy days.

– The cushions on the sofa jab us with pain by reminding us of the way they’d use them when reading at night.

We’re surrounded by emotional tripwires. Our heart breaks again and again.

We cannot, as we might at points want, get rid of the world in which the relationship once played itself out. We can’t burn the cushions or uproot the restaurant. To forget, we have to impose a new layer of experience on the things we associate with lost love. We should take a new group of friends to the restaurant, sit at side of the road  or get fresh acquaintances to hang out with us on the sofa. We have to reclaim the material of our life from our experiences. 

With a new commitment to forgetting, we should recover some of the hope of the child and the fortitude of an animal.....hope not to forget the memories seen in these photos...